Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
