She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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