mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize