spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Michael Bay diarrhea
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
