How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
