my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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