my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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