But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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