omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
