So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
