life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
