She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
