im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
