Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
