Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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