Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
