Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
