If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
