I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
