yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
