i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
What drink are we having for lunch?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
