He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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