I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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