real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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