Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
