my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
