I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
