Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
