the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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