Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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