Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
What a dumb baby whore.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
