It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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