that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He called his prostate his "boner button".
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
