I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
