Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
