The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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