I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
