who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
