hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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