You're completely useless in the revolution.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
