my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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