question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
