Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
