The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize