I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
