i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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