the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
