3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
