is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
