Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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