i barfeds in our rink
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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