If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
