just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
