loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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