They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
