someone get that fucking seahorse.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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