Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
