id be glad to
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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