1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
