You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize