she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
