It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
